Honest sinner

There are times when you reach a stage where the world doesn’t give much of a damn towards you, and you reciprocate. I have been living alone long enough by now to have a first-hand experience. Out of home since the age of 15, this is my ninth year of solo riding. Missed out on many homely activities and nuances, I also got to believe that nothing really matters in the bigger scheme of things. Our so-called civilized world is ripe with hypocrisy and indifference. Genocides are rampant throughout the globe under different brands – ISIS, Africa, war against terrorism, struggle for freedom, patriotism, artificial diseases, economic meltdowns, man-made disasters, conflict diamonds and whatnot. Being God’s sole mistake, we have been punishing Him consistently.

One of my better learned friends gave out a simple yet shrewd equation:

{Food + Sex} --> wrap it up with rules = Civilization

Everything around me seems like a bloody sham. Right from the chair I am sitting on to the laptop I am typing on to the condominium I am sitting inside. Everything is designed to remove you from the cozy cradle of Nature and throw you onto the cold clasps of consumerism (disguised slavery). Our chairs are designed so as to keep our mind in direct focus of the tasks at hand whereas it’s always healthier to sit cross-legged on the floor. Formal clothing is purely nonsensical. Feather-soft mattresses are being marketed by those who claim to know what’s right for you whereas a simple mat on the floor is the best cushion for your spine if you plan to live long enough to witness Earth’s doom. Western styled toilet seats make little or no sense whatsoever when compared with their Indian counterparts. Devices and gadgets are not tools any longer; they are addictions designed to stifle creative thinking. Self-esteem today seems to come from Facebook while memories are saved on Timelines. Is everyone really as happy as they pose in their pictures? Our homes used to be open, widespread gardens of social interaction with thatched roofs, mud walls and lanterns till they got replaced with stifling hot concrete cubical with varying degrees of isolation and self-centeredness. We now pay for adulterated food, adulterated milk, non-genuine bread loaves and unsafe water. We are made to believe that idling away is non-productive which is a sheer waste of our limited resources. My hobbies nowadays are to lose hair and gain weight (albeit gradually).

I am now a slave of this society which believes:

1.       Respect α Monetary achievements

2.       Respect α Physical symmetry

3.       Respect α “Managing” skills

My rationale always relates respect with skill and impeccable logic. We are here today mostly due to some of these “Managers” who believed they knew how to make their “workforce” (slaves) more productive by inventing useless, pathetic jargons and inducing inferiority complex amongst others to increase their self-worth.

There are days when I am wondering about things like life inside a prison, afterlife, moments of tension before executing a crime, the thrill of getting away, hitting random people just to get reassurance of liveliness etc. Sins which I haven’t laid my hands on remain very few in number.

Despite all this, randomness still resonates with an authentic aura. The moment when we decide to just ‘do’ something out of the blue actually decides our ability to adapt against our own limitations. I read a rather interesting phrase on Quora few days ago – '20 seconds of insane courage'. That’s all it takes to permanently change your way of life. And therein lies the catch… I have not a single goddamn clue about my purpose in this life. No rhyme or reason in this life where days lie scattered among the rest.

They say we only go around once.

Need a wake-up call before lying down, permanently.