Out-smarted

“Smart”phones... Really?!

The first thought that comes to my mind is how exactly does a phone make a person smart?? Tweeting/Facebooking every one of your pointless movements or chatting in the minuscule 4-inch screen while ignoring human interaction could hardly be the definition of “smart”. And then there is the eternal connection between man and his machine. The vision has been down-sized, literally and figuratively.

I always thought that a phone is meant to facilitate communication, not the other way round. Consider this, you are discussing something with an apparently educated person when suddenly he digs into his pants and whips out his gorilla-glass water-proof shock-resistant feather-touch LCD-display phone and smiles stupidly, having no clue about his own stupidity or the point in discussion. And I haven’t even started on the suspicious pocket maneuver he did for his bigass phone... Some might be tempted to use the phrase “demon of lust” here.. Other than that, the strongest feeling that comes to mind is to stuff that vibrating touch-screen far up into their bowel, seeing that the battery runs for almost 7 days!

What is the big deal about checking your email or other crap on the internet every 2 minutes that you know is totally and utterly useless for you? You aren’t the talk of the town, no matter what the SIM provider tells you to sell their “buddy-plans”! Better is to take up a book that keeps you focused for longer than 5 minutes and doesn’t tweet with Twitter all the bloody time.

On the street adjoining our apartment, there is a great lane for jogging, walking, yoga etc. Yet, the only exercise people do is to tap, swipe and scratch, heads boring into their phones all the while. Oh, and they try to walk without hitting a similar moron headfirst. It looks really weird when bits of LCD light up their vacant expressions. Some narcissists even go to the extent of phony smiles...

Addressing the elephant in the room – Andrauid... They say Andrauid has this “app” and that “app”... How many of those apps are authentic, reliable and foolproof?? They now have free apps for pre-mature birth symptoms, menstrual cycles, male-pattern balding, even birth-control pills! How many of these apps have actually seen an educated hand, God only knows...

Samsong, Appple, Nokya are the modern-day educators. Every child knows the megapixel rating of phoney(pun fully intended) cameras but ask him how in the hell is that useful to him and he’s stumped. MMS tapes have certainly gotten a shot in the arm though.

Whatever happened to Discovery and NatGeo?! A phone is just a phone, not a girlfriend, neither a boss, nor a teacher... Appple has a fairly seductive female voice in one of their apps, but even that refuses to answer “Who’s your daddy?”. Hence proved :-D

Believe me, there are people who manage just fine without “smart”phones... Or at least know where to draw the line between efficiency and tomfoolery! Again, Gloria Gaynor’s “I will survive...” comes to mind...

Technology was meant to be a friend. Now, we are worst than slaves to it. Heck, even Terminator and Matrix seem believable now. Who knows, some smartass phone might suddenly develop a knack for yelling juicy abuses into the earpieces of world-leaders and start World War III! :-P
All you presidents, prime ministers and dictators of the “First-world” countries, better watch out! Your own people have a tendency to overuse (and) abuse. Especially when it comes to their smartass phones! Or you can always count on Agent Smith to wreak havoc... No wonder Neo avoided smartphones.

P.S. -  All spelling mistakes are intentional and/or co-incidental. Be smart enough to know why! Before shooting your mouth off about my dated philosophy/thinking and other crap, put a finger in your nose and sneeze hard... Bet you can’t do it in one go! And in case you are one of those who can’t sleep without their phones in their hand, watch out for brain cancer... Your “smart” phone may not be so smart after all.